Twisted-nerve

2012-01-11T15:23:00.018+08:00

--

matt and i bought a lantern on our last night in krabi. we made a wish and released our lantern together at ao nang beach. possibly the most beautiful thing i've ever experienced. hopefully our wish will come true. :)

here is to 2012.

2011-12-28T01:02:00.003+08:00

THIS SPACE IS NOT DEAD YET.

i'm sorry to whoever that usually comes to this page and sees no new entries. well, there is always my twitter at the side. its not private so its kinda like a frequent skimpy blog post... yeah, excuses. i know its not the same. the truth is: i have been lazy.

wishing everyone a late merry christmas! and an early happy new year! :)

totally looking forward to 2012! MOSHI MOSHI TOKYOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

thats gonna be in late march next year. really excited for that. :D

and.... a week and a half more to KRABIIIIIII!!!!!! omg omg omg i miss it so much. been trying to find the perfect swimwear for the trip. can't wait!

this is not over!

Degausser

2011-12-01T14:32:00.001+08:00

2011-11-29T12:45:00.003+08:00

nescafe dolce gusto. for the first time ever, i fell in love with a coffee making machine. i just love how you can make different types of coffee like latte or cappucino with this beautiful machine. this makes me have dreams of making my house into a little coffee house so that my friends can come over to relax and have coffee with me. i would totally raid ikea to find cute tea cups and mugs. and then right, i will go back ho chi minh and bring home some of LEGENDEE coffee beans from trung nguyen and a dozen of the filter set (i went to google it and apparently, its called Phin) and then we all can have traditional vietnamese coffee! i will also go back bangkok and get that their thai tea leaves. i remembered they were selling it in one of those drink stalls at the train station. and then we can make thai iced tea! how cool is that! my own little cafe and all my friends can drink for free!!!!!! :D

this is so fun. am starting my own cafe.

in other news, 2011 is coming to an end already and i am so looking forward to 2012. well i think, mostly, because i cannot wait for january. its my birthday month which means i will be going to universal studios again (fuck yeah!) haha. aaaand matt and i are going to krabi on the first week of january. HELL YEAH KRABI LOVIN' !!! i just really love that place. going to swim with fishes and living in paradise with the man i love the most. can't wait! i miss it so much!

well this is not 100 percent confirmed yet but we are planning on going tokyo in april. moshi moshiiii! just talking about it makes me feel really excited. and furthermore, we're gonna witness the sakura flowers in its full luscious form, i think. well i need to do intensive research cos tokyo is going to be a hard one. have you seen the train map?! and how do you read japanese?! gosh. anyway, all thats left is to book the tickets and reconfirm my leave dates and we're on our way. :)

december is coming! very soon its going to be christmas and then the new year. woopiedoo!

2011-11-16T00:34:00.003+08:00

this was taken at universal studios halloween horrors late last month. that was matt and i looking as if we're about to give that scary dude a taste of our dynamic duo. don't mess.

almost about a week and a half ago i threw a party at my place. ordered some food, invited all my friends and ordered more food which didn't manage to finish in the end. was too busy refilling the food and everyone's glasses, i didn't even get to take out my camera and/or really catch up with everyone. crystal blogged about my party in her blog :) its in the entry on november 7, 2011. i am really bummed that i didn't take photos at my party. :(

was on leave at that point of time, but for the first time ever in 2011, i didn't do any travelling. well, travel adventures will resume next year. for now, its work, work, work. lame ass shit work. thinking of getting a canon legria camcorder. it'll be so fun if matt and i take videos on our trips. kinda like making our own nat geo adventure show. sounds really fun!

with my parents gone away for a month, i've been doing alot of housework. after my flight just now, i ta-paoed mcdonalds home and ate it in front of the tv. then i went to shower. after which i did laundry, washed dirty dishes which my brother left in the sink, boiled water, hang my laundry out to dry, folded my clean clothes and put them in my dresser and now i'm in my peace-zone. that is: in the living room using my laptop with the lights all dimmed and the radio on using my dad's soundsystem. class 95 plays really sweet music from the 90s and the millenium at this time of the night which i've been doing since i was in poly. this is what i normally do every night. i think i'm the most boring 22 year old out there.

well, boring 22 year old me gotta go to bed now. goodnight.

2011-11-03T00:10:00.002+08:00

guess who got lucky? yes, me! :)

clef is this new music, art, lifestyle and technology magazine in singapore. click here to go to their facebook page.

i got a shock when the photos i took at the home club identite 1st anniversary event got published in a magazine. yes, a freaking magazine!!! it was actually quite funny how i discovered it:

after the psd gig at *scape lab last saturday, me and the guys were sitting at the kopitiam infront, having drinks. the guys got sponsored jeans and tshirts from psd and this magazine was inside the bags of the clothing they received. matt was randomly flipping through the magazine and then suddenly exclaimed "hey! thats me.." i took a peek of the page and then i was like hmm yeah thats him. it didn't occur to me at first until, a few seconds later, that i realised that hey, these photos do look kinda familiar.. wait a minute, didn't i take these photos?? and then my jaw dropped and i couldn't believe my eyes. it felt as though i had won something. and then the guys were all so happy for me, especially matt :), and they tried to find whether they credited me in that article. yeah they did. it was very small but at least they did. you can actually see it if you squint at the bottom right hand corner of the page. i never knew the photos i sent to this guy was going to be published in a magazine. it was a great surprise. i know to some its like no big deal and its not as though it was like an editorial spread or something and not say the photos were filled with effects coolness, but its a really big thing for me because simply, its published! its like learning how to play a guitar for fun and you're not like the best player out there, but you still get to play infront of an audience. doesn't matter how small of an audience, but its STILL audience. oh well.. its just me, i'm easily contented.

and honestly, the feeling is even better than having photos of myself on newspapers and appearing on tv 2 years ago.

2011-11-02T23:45:00.002+08:00

i am crazily in love with you.

testing out my new blogger app

2011-10-14T23:47:00.001+08:00

watched Matt sleeping after lunch time this afternoon :)

The Used

2011-10-13T01:18:00.004+08:00

- Rockaway Festival 2011, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

A Vacant Affair and fun times with Josh and Rudi

2011-09-30T01:55:00.005+08:00

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

2011-09-24T14:35:00.015+08:00

last weekend, matt and i went to ho chi minh city. thought we could just spend the weekend exploring new destinations and satisfy my thirst for travel and adventure. the hotel we stayed in was incredibly cozy with a city view and it was really close to our favourite coffee house and ben thanh market. food was like everywhere.

we fell in love with vietnamese coffee. matt, who was never a coffee lover, loved it so much. we were kind of addicted to it cos the next day after we came back to singapore, we were thinking about it and we were planning to head to little vietnam at guillemard road just for the vietnamese coffee.

ho chi minh was just lovely. i even managed to get a classic pedicure for like 6 SGD at a very nice salon. totally going back there. we would also want to go back and try other food places like tokyo deli and pho 24 which we didn't get to try cos we only stayed there for 3 days. oh man, i miss HCM already...

more photos of the trip can be seen on my facebook. about two weeks from now, i'll be going to KL. going on a trip with some of my cabin crew friends to genting highlands and also going to catch rockaway festival in the city. gonna catch Story Of The Year again and finally, The Used. can't wait! its going to be crazy.

2011-09-06T14:29:00.002+08:00

well, i have been busy.

first things first. i now live in pasir ris. best place to live. near to the airport and near to the boyfriend. best combination ever. before last weekend, i haven't been able to get proper internet connection so, i barely got online. and ever since we moved in, it was juggling work, hari raya preparations, unpacking and presidential voting. it was really hectic.

then hari raya came. finally, after two years, i got to celebrate it. two years ago, i had to be at mediacorp studios on hari raya for the full dress rehearsal of the singtel grid girls and last year, i had to do a phuket flight. i remembered i cried on the way to the airport. after more than a year and a half in this company (woah time flies quickly huh!), i can finally request for an off day on that holiday. i invited matt to come visiting with me. he wore the baju kurung which looked totally cute on him. :) it was a good day. non-stop eating and finally been able to see my relatives after so long. i swear i put on 4kg at the end of the day.

after that, it was work and off days were spent running errands and appointments. i guess the only time i had time for myself was at the borders clearance sale at expo. even that, my body and eyes felt really sore from browsing the millions of books they had there. i've been so busy. my debit card stopped working so i had to go to the bank. i had to go to STC to get a new bag for work cos my bag was torn. and my errands are not done yet. i still have to go back to woodlands to the driving centre for my BTT test on the 14th. and i haven't been practicing, i'm afraid i might forget. im so screwed, i need all the luck i can get.

all i want is an off day where i can wake up in the morning, read a book by the pool downstairs in a big hat and sunglasses, go for a swim and come home and relax, download some music, blog and meet my boyfriend. can't wait for the day to come for me to finally do this.

and i would really love to drop by orchard road one of the weekdays this week to check out H&M.

so next weekend, matt and i are going to ho chi minh city. yes, you heard it first. i'm having troubles with my god damn debit card at the moment and it is pissing me off cos i can't buy the tickets. fuck. i'm really looking forward to this trip.

and i gotta upload my photos another time cos i gotta go now. i have work later. goodbye.

2011-08-16T20:50:00.004+08:00

today i finished this book which i bought last thursday. its called delirium by lauren oliver. i teared at the end. this is gonna take me some time to get over. just like on dexter season 4 when rita died. took me a week to get over that. but its harder in books compared to tv series because i have the tendency to create the characters the author introduced and deescribed in my head and i like what i created and i will fall in love with them. i do that all the time whenever i read and when its a great book, i get so attached to them. its like my kind of vice to escape to a fantasy world from everyday thoughts and daily life. i love lena and alex. alex is this beautiful guy and i'm jealous of lena for having him, but at the same time i was rooting for lena all along and i'm feel her and i'm proud of her. been awhile since a book affected me this deep. can't stop thinking about it really. i don't think i can ever live in a world without love.

love, the deadliest of all deadly things: it kills you both when you have it and when you don't.
but that isn't it, exactly.
the condemner and the condemned. the executioner, the blade; the last-minute reprive; the gasping breath and the rolling sky above you and the thank you, thank you, thank you, God.
love: it will kill you and save you, both. - delirium by lauren oliver, p.352

2011-08-05T18:50:00.004+08:00

i want to tell the world that i am glad that i met crystal shong. she is a very good friend of mine.

i have never been the type of person to stand up against anybody if they say or do mean things to me. when anyone embarassed me or say stuff about me, i will ignore it and pretend they're not talking about me or just plain laugh at it like they were just joking. i can't believe how pathetic i was. people making fun of me and i even laughed at myself. how stupid can i be.

i met crystal in 2009 during the singtel grid girls competition. to be honest, she was the person i spoke most to during the very first meet-up of the top 40-something... i remembered we both came in late and we were the last to leave and we left the building together talking about this guy friend of hers in australia. the whole time during the competition, we didn't really talk that much cos honestly, i was abit scared of her when we got to know all of the girls abit more. funny how she is the only one i kept most in contact with after the whole thing.

i'm proud to say, i admire her. i've never met such an angry girl and a girl with alot of guts. she never lets anyone push her around nor does she give a damn about rules and when you're being an ass, she gives you shit for it. she doesn't care if the whole world hates her. she doesn't care if her friends turned their backs on her. she is a nice girl, but if you step on her toes, she is not afraid of giving you shit. i was afraid of her at first. i did not want to offend her in any way or even get really close to her. but when i get to know her, i like her. i like her attitude. the kind of attitude which i don't possess, but i wished i do. i learnt alot from her. i learnt to step up and defend myself and not let anyone push me around.

makes me realised that no one in this world is going to stand up for you. you have only yourself to depend on. when someone is being mean to you, you can't just cry home to your mother or your boyfriend. or even, god forbid, sit quietly and be emo and miserable about your life. you have to go to the person and say "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

i did that today and boy, am i glad i did that. I did it. no one else did it for me. I did it. everyone else said its just a misunderstanding, its just a small matter you shouldn't get too worked up about it blah blah blah blah... you are a coward and you are wrong. all i know if shit gets thrown at you, you gotta show them you can't be messed around with.

thank you crystal. you are my inspiration. :)

2011-08-03T21:32:00.002+08:00

2011-07-31T21:44:00.001+08:00

best 43 seconds of my life

2011-07-22T22:57:00.004+08:00

Well I talk,
Too much
To myself
And I turn my back on my faith
It's like glass
When we break
I wish no one in my place

And I've seen
You don't need their scenes
When the cut goes in deep
And I'm lost in sleep

I can't stay
In this place
I can't stand
When the room turns round
On my fate
You give no guarantees
There's no promise I can keep

I can't stand
I can't see my way
I feel blind
On my feet
I can't stay too long
Am I wrong?

Goodbye, lay the blame on luck
Goodbye, lay the blame on luck
Goodbye, lay the blame on luck
Goodbye, lay the blame on luck

I'm so tired
Of my mood
And sleep comes
With a knife, fork and a spoon
You're so pale
In your face
You let life get in your way

And I've seen
You don't need their scenes
When the cut goes in deep
And I'm lost in sleep
Am I wrong?

Goodbye, lay the blame on luck
Goodbye, lay the blame on luck
Goodbye, lay the blame on luck
Goodbye, lay the blame on luck

- Brand New "Am I Wrong"

:(

date night

2011-07-20T18:16:00.011+08:00

yesterday for our anniversary, we went to hatched for dinner.

loved the lighting. kinda looked like we're eating breakfast in the morning, but it really was dinner.

and after that, we went to marina bay sands sky park.

we are very much in love :)

2011-07-19T23:58:00.000+08:00

dearest matthew,

when i am sad, you know how to make me laugh. when i am happy, you will also be happy for me and when i am angry, you will always know how to calm me down. you are always there for me and i appreciate it with all my heart. i love you so much. you are my best friend, my soulmate and my one and only. you are the only person who believes in me and i am eternally grateful for that. the future awaits and all i know is that i am going to be holding your hand every single step of the way :) matt and hami. mutiara and lazzaril. dynamic duo. happy 4 years anniversary, baby.

love,
hami.

2011-07-15T00:57:00.002+08:00

i have dreams of traveling to other countries and do nothing but take photos and catch my favourite bands. it has always been my dream, but i never have the money to do so, but now i do.. i want to make my dreams come true.

2011-07-04T23:27:00.002+08:00

my eyes are about to shut so this is going to be quick one. i need to do something with my life. i need a plan. its such a shame even when i am financially alright, i am not 100% happy. i remember when i first started primary school at 7 years old, i drew a potrait of my friend for my first art lesson and the teacher put it up on the wall. it was nice, but my mom was more concerned about me getting a band 1 for math. my parents wanted me to be the smart, ambitious one. not some potrait drawing girl. ever since then, i didn't really bother about art. sometimes i wish i was given a chance to pursue art. but its all too late now. i don't really think about it anymore.

sometimes i wish i have something to do that i am really good at. something that is encouraged and supported by friends and families. i wish photography is it. or film-making. i don't know, but i see so many people getting started when they were so young and now they're older and they're like some professionals and i'm like getting older and am an amateur. wished i had that opportunity when i was younger. oh dear me... i need to do something with my life.

travel... researching on new places to go or just going back to thailand to escape like how i always loved it. traveling somewhere in september, october and november this year. can't stand it here.

2011-06-30T14:21:00.003+08:00

the previous post was supposed to be up more than a week ago, but i took so long to complete it cos of work and i encountered some problems with the photo uploader. its quite a brain damaging post cos i have terrible spelling and when i'm so excited about something my words get all jumbled up so i might sound stupid there. might be like some kinda drunk with happiness post. been awhile since i blogged like this.. completed with photos all. for anyone who were secretly or openly interested. :)

Krabi, Thailand

2011-06-21T00:46:00.026+08:00

well this is going to be a long post.

today i unpacked, cleaned my room, watched a couple of movies, went to the shop to develop the underwater photos and bought kitkat on the way back, but left it at the cashier counter after paying for it (shit!!), cleaned my camera, attempted photoshop to edit some photos... should have went back to the shop to get my kitkat, but i was like i have to go down 10 floors and cross the road and i'm like ah fuck it you weren't fated to eat that thing it'll make you fat anyway. i was procrastinating. i had blogger on the whole time in the afternoon wanting to say something, but i got distracted by alot of things, as you can see.. i think my spelling sucks, but nevermind i'm too lazy to check dictionary.com and i used to have spellcheck i wondered where did that go?

oooh i went to krabi a couple of days ago. last thursday to be exact. got back home on monday, two days ago. it was fantastic. went on a holiday to just catch on some sleep with the person you love most, stress-free and relishing every minute as time passes by oh-so-slowly just being relaxed. god i wish i could do that forever.

i didn't sleep the night before the trip. i was so excited for it, but in the end my mind overworked and i had a panic attack. like what the fuck right? well, not those screaming and hyperventilating type of panic attacks, but more like my heart was racing and had this bad thought and this thought wouldn't disappear at all no matter how hard i tried to push away. in the end i read the book One Day and finished it. by then it was time to get up. was anticipating it to be a good morning even without sleep, but the trip to the airport was horrendous. the strap of my bag broke while i was walking.. totally unglam and i had to fight the morning peak hour crowd. oh god! and i had to sit beside this fat guy on the bus and his body was over-spilling on my seat. i basically sat at the edge. so whenever anyone enters the bus and walked down the aisle to the back, they would brush my shoulder and thigh and it happened on every single fucking stop and to make things worst, the airport was the last stop.. there wasn't much to say anymore, was it?

i'm thankful i have a patient, caring and thoughtful boyfriend who hugged me and wouldn't let me go and turned everything around with mcdonalds breakfast. :)

when we reached krabi, we took a cab to the hotel. place really reminded me of johor bahru without the shopping malls. reached the hotel and my god it was lovely! the staff were really polite. greeted us with welcome drinks and a wet towel and explained to us everything from where to get the password to excess wifi, the swimming pool hours and other facilities and showed us around our room. it felt so welcoming. our room was gorgeous. had a fantastic view. see it for youself:

laid down and indulge in the room and set up the wifi on my laptop which took quite a while. then we head out to grab lunch. napporat thara beach was just across the road from the hotel. a beachfront hotel, how can you not love it? the road we were on was incredibly quiet. just when we thought it was summer and its june holidays, but there really wasn't anyone walking the streets. eventually, we learnt that june is a low-season and moreover, we were on the really private and quiet side of the town. then we walked slightly further down and had lunch at the street stalls. i have no problem with the food hygienie, its expected just gotta up your immune system abit. but i have a problem with eating lunch in an area where there are army of red ants crawling near my body. oh god help me. i had these chills like the ants crawling on me, just by looking at them. so yeah i practically downed my lunch in less than 5 minutes.

after lunch matt and i explored napporat thara beach. it was low tide and matt was finding fishes and i was trying to get a good photo. well it was kinda hard cos the sky was gloomy. it was nice in a tragic kinda way. we had a lot of fun navigating on soft, dampen-ed sand which ate our foot in when we stood there too long and on pokey rocks. then we went back to the hotel and swam at the hotel pool which was empty. it was alot of fun cos we took turn to carry each other in the pool and i tried to teach matt how to swim. took a shower, rested for abit and then it was time for dinner. we went to this sze char seafood restaurant on the beach just five minutes walk from the hotel. we passed by alot of restaurants and surveyed them by looking at whether there were customers inside. cos really, most of them were just nicely decorated restaurants with reasonably cheap food but it was EMPTY. the seafood restaurant we went was huge and there was like four or five tables occupied so thats why we picked it. had a massive dinner. typical matt and hami over-ordering. finished the food anyway and got down with a food coma -_-

the next day we went for our island tour. before that we had breakfast at the hotel. food was mediocre and there was not much variety, but having breakfast over-looking the beach, with the sea breeze and hearing the sound of crashing waves was just insanely peaceful and romantic. i encountered a problem while waiting for the island-hopping transport to fetch to the beach. my camera couldn't take photos because there was this condensation INSIDE my lens and i couldn't get through to wipe it. and it was there for quite some time and i started to panic and cry. i thought my camera was spoiled cos i couldn't take pictures at all and we were going on island-hopping!! this was the worst thing that could happened and it really did happen! i mean fuck my life! miraculously, the condensation disappeared a couple of minutes later and i could take photos again. as you can see, my eyes were still quite teary in this photo:

we were still at napporat thara beach just very much further down from where our hotel was. its beautiful. and then it begins! our island-hopping tour group consisted alot of foreigners and locals and we all were on a speedboat. i think matt and i were the only singaporeans. the first stop was to railay beach to pick up just a few more people to join our tour and then after that we headed straight to bamboo island. it was like a 30 minutes ride and my god! i was going to die!! i never knew i was sea-sick type of person until that day. i hated the ride.the sea was choppy and the ride was bumpy like hell. my head was spinning the and i could not open my eyes and i wanted to puke the whole time.

it felt like heaven when we finally reached bamboo island. the place was insanely gorgeous. white sand and light blue sea. matt and i knew that was where we wanted to be. we had alot of fun. oh my god i just want to go back there right now.

after about an hour and a half, we got back on the speedboat again and did the next thing on the itinery. we were supposed to go to maya bay, but it had to be cancelled because it was too dangerous to go there as the seas were too choppy and winds were too strong over there. i was greatly disappointed about it because i was really looking forward to go maya beach. i've seen its beauty on google images and i wanted to take photos there. instead, we had a boat tour around this island lagoon which i forgot the name and then the boat stopped and the guide said ok you have 20 minutes to snorkel here. i was so nervous and excited at the same time. the water was deep and clear light blue and you can see fishes and corals. it was so beautiful, its not what you normally see. it was matt and i first time snorkeling. it was an experience and matt was frightened and we held on to each other the whole time. but i was so happy to be there with my baby. i am so proud of matt for joining me to snorkel even though he had a fear of deep water. i still am, right now! :) i love him so much.

we kind of got drifted away from the boat for awhile and had a bit of trouble swimming back. i had saltwater in my mouth and i have really lousy stamina. one of the boat crew helped us and pushed us to the boat. really thankful for that. when we got back up on the boat, i was so breathless and my head was pounding. used up all my pitiful energy to swim back, i guess. never knew it was THAT tough.

then we head over to phi phi island for lunch. it was like a small buffet thing. like those seminar/convention type of reception food and the arragement of the place where we ate really reminded me of like those malay void deck wedding hahaha. i couldn't eat lunch. kept thinking of the long boat ride back to napporat thara beach and i could imagine myself vomitting lunch. drank tea and took like 4 or 5 small bites of the food. then matt and i took photos! phi phi island is super gorgeous!! had alot of fun. photos!!

as expected the ride back was awful. i didn't puke tho. i closed my eyes the entire 45 minutes ride. we alighted the boat and suddenly these two people came dragging a table and yelling "souvenirs! souvenirs!" and we went to take a look and my god it was the coolest thing ever! it was our photo in cute hand-made photo frames taken before the start of our island hopping trip and we never knew this picture was taken. there was this sneaky photographer hiding behind the trees somewhere and was taking our photos! like a paparazzi! matt looked good though! i looked not very hot cos i was busy trying to take photos of the beach with my camera. if i had known, i would hold matt's hands and grin non-stop in every single direction.. oh don't you just hate the paparazzi? haha.

ok moving on. we headed back to the hotel at about 4 plus in the afternoon, showered and went to bed. matt and i agreed it was the best sleep we've had on the holiday. we were knackered from the island-hopping that we fell asleep instantly. we woke up two hours later, hungry. we went to a restaurant nearby to eat. then we bought ice-cream from the kiosk at the hotel and ate it while matt showed me videos on youtube. it rained occasionally but like those passing clouds kind. it rained for 5 minutes and then it stopped. happens a couple of times. they were showing quarantined on the hbo channel on tv and we watched abit and then fell asleep.

the next day, we woke up without the alarm and we were still able to make it for breakfast. awesome! as usual, breakfast with a breath-taking view. sigh.. i really wanted to go visit railay beach. we need to get a long-tail boat there, but matt wasn't very keen on the boat ride and the weather and the sea wasn't looking too good either. i was disappointed, but i got over it. next time, i guess. after breakfast, we went back to the room and stayed in bed. we felt hungry in the afternoon and took a tuk-tuk ride further down to napporat thara beach to have lunch at this overpriced seafood restaurant. this time we didn't over-ordered. we thought long and hard on what to order. it rained for awhile. after lunch we bought some snacks from the street stalls and headed to the beach. as expected, its a dead town, there are not many people anywhere. we picnic-ed and laid there. matt and i don't normally do this. in fact, we never did this before. we've never been the type of people to go chill by the beach or even have picnics. we don't really like crowds and we can't walk or stand or sit too long. we need to lie down.

well it was something new for us and we embraced it well. just relaxing by the beach, talking and looking at clouds. the sun wasn't too hot. sky was light grey and there was just the perfect amount of sunlight which even without sunblock, you won't actually get a tan, which is good for me cos i don't like getting tanned. after that we decided to head back to the hotel to probably get a massage and then dip in the pool. but we saw it was low tide so we decided to walk to this huge rock at napporat thara beach. if it was high tide it wouldn't have been possible to go by foot and even if you swam, the water would be deep and the waves would be killer. saw alot of shell creatures along the way and fragments of them as well. matt and i took photos at the rock and then we searched for fishes or any type of sea creatures. the sand was really muddy and if you stand on the sand for like more than 3 seconds, your feet will sink into it. just like quick sand. we had alot of fun just walking in the quick sand. my havaianas slippers are so lousy. the strap came off a couple of times and i couldn't stop laughing when the quick sand swollowed my slippers whole..

after seacrhing for pretty sea shells and playing in the water, we decided to head back and we walked through the muddy beach. by then it was incredibly low tide and there was alot of those small little crabs wondering about and they seemed to be going somewhere. it was like the great migrations on nat geo wild! matt and i made an impromptu documentary using my camera. i'll put the video up soon. matt captured the crabs while i take their pictures. it was kinda scary to be walking there because there were alot of them and i thought they might attacked me. but apparently, they're afraid of us. when we come close, they will scurry away and dig a hole and hide themselves in the muddy sand. pictures! pictures! pictures!

we spent almost an hour. i guess this was also one of the highlights of the holiday. i liked how matt and i were amused and entertained by the little crabs. most people wouldn't actually care or would be disgusted with the little crabs and the millions of sea snails and slugs on their feet. as for us, we were like little kids catching spiders. we stalked the crabs and we made a documentary. i guess this is what you turned into when you watch too much national geographic channel. haha :)

reached the carpark and we took a tuk-tuk back to the hotel. then we straight away jumped into the swimming pool. as usual, pool is empty. just a couple of people chilling at the balconies of the pool excess rooms and the second floor. we swam for more than an hour. we didn't exactly swim. we did a lot of fun things. we used up all the film of the underwater camera just doing mad things in the pool. happy shots, jumping shots, kissing shots, underwater shots.. and i had a nip slip shot... cos i was jumping so much. FML. will have to burn that photo once i get it from the shop. then matt and i played some games like who can walk faster in the pool from one end to the other. we also tried who can do it faster backwards. yeah we kept doing that over and over again. and then we carry each other and we timed who can do it faster from one end to the other. its easier to carry each other in the pool cos we can't really feel the weight. it was ALOT of fun in that pool. photos from the underwater camera:

everytime i look at it and i'm reminded how happy we were there and i wished to go back.

and after swimming, we had dinner at the hotel restaurant. we were the only ones dining there and they served italian food. it was alright, but the portion was kinda small for us. you know, fine dining type of food which matt and i find it nice but hard to appreciate cos we have a bad habit of eating til you get food coma. how un-adult of us. after we finished the dinner we went out and walked to a restaurant next to the hotel and have more food. *burp* thats more like it. heh.

then we head back to the hotel. our last night. packed our stuff and then we watched Rio on my laptop. great movie. super funny. probably one of my favourite movies. and the next day, we had breakfast for the last time at the beautiful hotel and headed to the airport.

i miss it so much. just being with matt and away from life in singapore. i was so happy.

x

Trees

2011-06-21T00:32:00.002+08:00

taken in Krabi

2011-06-09T23:28:00.001+08:00

2011-06-08T21:31:00.002+08:00

i listen to this song everyday. such a shame its only a demo. would have made my life complete if it was properly released and be played live. funny how this song makes me think of degausser from devil and god...

Brand New - Untitled 5 (Cleanser)

I can barely move
I can barely see where we're going now
The road is washed out from the river that flooded just north of town

We stick stick stick stick to the plan we laid out
But we know the saying
The best best best best plans of both mice and men can go terribly wrong
And they probably will

So please - nobody speaks
Nobody get any smart ideas
If we don't have any heroics
We may just get out of here
And home to your families by dinner time safely and soundly sleeping
Cause we don't want trouble
We’ll take what we came for and we'll leave quiet
or maybe we will...

Tear you up
Take what you love
And burn it down
Burn it down

Nobody moves, nobody moves
And no one gets hurt
If nobody opens their mouth
We have nothing to worry about

We'll keep keep keep keep you alive
’Cause we always need bargaining chips
(For their lives we will trade you and make your getaway)
We'll keep keep keep keep you alive
’Cause your pretty
And we need something to look at while we...

Tear you up
Take what you love
And burn it down
And burn it down
You swear to build
We swear to come
And burn it down
And burn it down

Weighing the cost of the love you made
Measure again
Yeah
Feeling the weight of the bones you break
Break them again
Yeah

Wandering the park
And sinking our teeth into anyone who'll suffice
And who can survive my disease

Break all the locks without the combination
I know where you hid it - I consider it mine
Went to the crowns without a planning or feeling
And keep me alert ‘til the next bout of time

Please cut me up, cut me up
Honey, make me the lover you wanted
When you were young and asleep
And I'm fine when you're here
Find my call from a bottle
The lover you wanted
While you waited so long

Weighing the cost of the love you made
Measure again
Yeah
Feeling the weight of the bones you break
Break them again
Yeah

2011-06-05T20:13:00.000+08:00

2011-06-03T21:23:00.002+08:00

Brand New - Untitled 2 (Morissey Song)

She was just seventeen, pious and pretty with a deadly disease
And the weight of the world on a prosthetic shoulder
And by the summer of ‘96 her body was cracked like porcelain
Just like some Precious Moments collectable
In a hospital gown and a big bright golden halo

And so three cheers for my morose and grieving pals
And now let's hear it for the tears that I’ve welled up
We’ve come too far to have to give it all up now
We live lives that are rich and blessed
And we burn for how we transgress

Now I’ve mastered the art
Of the open casket prayer and the singing guitar
I found the rewards weren’t half what I'd hoped for
And meanwhile, we all feigned hope and mirth
As her parents went on and lied to her
All about the success of the surgeries
And how my ex-girlfriend was now sleeping with her fiancé

If there's any justice in heaven, then God won't let me in
He'll lock the gates and take my weekend pass away
With a sympathetic wave, they'll see me off, return my golden crown
While I am cursed to walk the earth for a millennia
I know I deserve worse but it terrifies me and I can't take it anymore

pink (identite - 1st anniversary)

2011-06-02T02:03:00.004+08:00

mariam's 21st birthday

2011-06-01T01:50:00.002+08:00

i experimented with photoshop. just trying to create effects and all. took me several days.

2011-05-31T21:27:00.002+08:00

i have alot of photos i want to upload here but i will not upload until my stupid hp mediasmart photo decides to work again. i am so upset.

and i hate it when i'm upset. everything else just makes me annoyed.

2011-05-27T00:33:00.002+08:00

oh man my wrist could totally use a tattoo...

haha dream on.

feeling bored right now and tired from work, mostly. work sucks. took my social life away and makes me feel like shit sometimes. but yeah i know, at the end of the day, it all depends on the individual. if i hadn't chose to be so tired and lazy all the time, it wouldn't be this awful. well whatever, at least the money is good. still working on the social life part. need to get my ass out from my room and not be so emo.

saving up to do great things like fly to USA and for marriage in the future. my goals in life. sounds lame when put here, but not what i see in my head. its so pretty and exciting, you know. too bad you can't see it.

i've always wanted to be those beautiful, young brides. when my breasts are still in nice shape and perky, my face and body not so wrinkly and my hair is still lavishly black. yeah i have the image in my head on what i'll look like and what i'll be wearing for my wedding. i've always pictured it on top of a hill, overlooking the sea and with the gentle sea breeze and the groom will tuck my hair behind my ear and kiss me on the lips that will take my breath away. haha so cliche, i am so embarassed by my thoughts. im sure everyone has imagined how their own wedding will be like. i guess that makes me feel normal. oh and don't get me started on the wedding band and the playlist for the dj... maybe another time haha.

its late and i'm terribly bored, but i'm going to sleep anyway. goodnight.

2011-05-26T23:25:00.002+08:00

nurses' pledge..

black nurse.. totally unrelated, but great song.

2011-05-20T01:06:00.003+08:00

sometimes i am kinda thankful for my job cos i feel that it makes me a better human being. the Ps and Qs and the sorries i excessively use at work, whether i meant it or not, just became a part of me. i feel that simple things like this are what make relationships last. cos when i'm not at work and when i'm talking to people that mattered like friends and loved ones, the Ps and Qs and sorries used are somewhat magnified and genuine. like when i did a favour for a friend or my family or my boyfriend and when they say thank you, i feel good. it makes me enjoy doing favours and helping them out. i appreciate things like a simple thank you. same goes when someone does me a favour, i must say thank you cos i must have troubled abit of your time and energy and it means alot to me that you bothered to do it. for me. it doesn't have to be because of love or cos we're good friends thats why its understandable that favours and thank yous goes without saying, but really having the word Thank You rolled out of your tongue is somewhat nice to hear. sometimes i see people communicating and they just don't do that i feel thats how relationships get taken for granted and honestly, even if thank yous and pleases goes without saying among you and your friends, i swear there are times where one of you just want to be appreciated FOR ONCE.

even simple things like saying hello or smiling at someone. i was at my boyfriend's workplace for lunch and whenever someone passed by, i smiled at them even if i don't know them. i just feel that its nice to acknowledged someone of their prescence and be acknowledged in return. it makes me feel good that someone actually looked at me and i'm not invisible. this beautiful thing is somewhat ruined cos some people think just because they're popular or seniors or more important than anyone else that they don't feel the need to acknowledge people instead, people must acknowledged them. this is how its all taken for granted and simple beautiful like this are not commonly exercised because of some people. when will you learn that we are all equals? you're just as empty as i am. nobody shit rainbows and unicorns and we all die alone. its really simple things that can make you and me feel good.

i never knew all these when i was in school. i don't even learn it from my friends. i grew up and learned that somehow, these simple things are just what you need to survive in life.

2011-05-19T14:35:00.001+08:00

dream in japanese, dream in japanese, some language i don't even know how to speak

2011-05-18T22:47:00.000+08:00

new twitter and desktop background :)

2011-05-17T21:31:00.002+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

yeah i'm feeling good today. :) did you actually take a listen to the song by neutral milk hotel in the previous post? its so depressing and strangely beautiful, i swear its disturbing. here is what i thought when i listened to the song: sweet love-making, vices, broken homes, love, disappointment, Anne Frank... probably one of the best songs ever written.

been in that lonely, sadness phase for too long now. i can't say its over, but i am getting better. just need to get my mind off things and focus on things that matter like my photography (still and forever learning), travel plans to see the world and my boyfriend. 3 things, which i am certain, that will be my future. :) don't let your life be a dead end, might as well take drugs to numb yourself out or be dead, right? knowing there is something to reach out for, thats what keeps the fire alive and burning in you..

oh something interesting... matt and i met up at city hall in the evening to have dinner and planned to go for WGB album launch. in the end, we decided not to go to the album launch and head back his place. in the end, we played Sealed with the boys at the void deck of Blk 115. Sealed is like all 6 of them shared a Magic booster box and then each person gets 6 booster packs and using that booster packs, they form a deck and play against one another. very interesting.

yesterday i spent the whole day with matt chilling, sleeping and watching tv. favourite thing to do in the world with him. :) i love him more than anything. he knows me more than anyone else, he holds my hand through tough times and he makes me smile.. we're coming to 4 years very soon. wow.. and all i want is to be with him. :)

anyway, i'm going to home club this friday night. i feel that its been a long time since i ever come out at night. something tells me i won't be much fun. i get sleepy and tired at midnight.. maybe i should nap in the day? i don't know. i just hope some of my friends are there..

well that has been quite a lot about what goes on lately. :) ok goodbye for now.

2011-05-14T13:13:00.001+08:00

Oh comely, I will be with you when you lose your brave,
Chasing the only meaningful memory you thought you had left.
With some pretty, bright and bubbly terrible scene
That was doing her thing on your chest.

But oh comely,
It isn't as pretty as you'd like to guess
In your memory, you're drunk on your autonomy.
It doesn't mean anything at all.

Oh comely,
All of your friends are all letting you blow,
Bristling and ugly, bursting with fruits falling out from the holes
Of some pretty, bright, and bubbly friend
You could need to say comforting things in your ear

But oh comely,
There isn't such one friend that you could find here.
Standing next to me,
He's only my enemy
I'll crush him with everything I own.

Say what you want to say
Hang for your hollow ways
Moving your mouth to pull out
All your miracles aimed for me.

Your father made fetuses with flesh licking ladies,
While you and your mother were asleep in the trailer park.
Thunderous sparks from the dark of the stadiums,
The music and medicine you needed for comforting.
So make all your fat fleshy fingers to moving,
And pluck all your silly strings, bend all your notes for me.
Soft silly music is meaningful magical,
The movements were beautiful, all in your ovaries.
All of them milking with green fleshy flowers,
While powerful pistons were sugary sweet machines.
Smelling of semen all under the garden
Was all you were needing when you still believed in me.

Say what your want to say.
Hang for your hollow ways.
Moving your mouth to pull out
All your miracles aimed for me.

And I know they buried her body with others,
Her sister and mother and five-hundred families.
And will she remember me fifty years later?
I wished I could save her in some sort of time machine.

Know all your enemies.

We know who our enemies are.

Goldaline, my dear,
We will fold and freeze together
Far away from here.
There is sun and spring and green forever.

But now we move to feel for ourselves inside some stranger's stomach.

Place your body here,
Let your skin begin to blend itself with mine.

2011-05-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

Jesse, Kevin and Manchester Orchestra on a road trip in '07. Funniest shit ever!!! Especially #30! hahahahahaha

Fight Off Your Demons

2011-05-10T21:48:00.003+08:00

2011-05-09T02:08:00.001+08:00

2011-05-06T00:33:00.002+08:00

how can u sit in the car with your family and they are talking so happily and animatedly and you are just sitting there quietly, finding it hard to breathe and just have nothing to say and feel nothing?

Je t'aime

2011-05-03T00:13:00.001+08:00

2011-05-02T01:30:00.002+08:00

http://theswollenfox.com/brand-new-electric-factory-videos-setlist/

Good job, internet: Watch video of every song from Brand New @ Electric Factory (+ setlist)
Posted on April 29th, 2011, 12:37 pm by swollenfox

Brand New played a sold out show at the Electric Factory on Wednesday night, and not even two full days later, you can find at least part of every song but one from the 19-song setlist on youtube. (The one song left out is “Sic Transit Gloria… Glory Fades.”) (UPDATE: The last remaining video has been uploaded)

------

its the FIRST time i come across this. its a music blog from philadelphia and brand new played in philly a couple of days ago. after the concert, someone actually bothered to youtube-d all the videos uploaded by the people who went for that concert, dug out the setlist for that concert, and arranged the videos according to that setlist, providing a link to the videos and sharing it with everyone!! how cool is this?? its like making a concert dvd. in less than 2 days!! it must have been a life-changing concert, i must say. i mean seriously, how often do you come across this?? it really makes me glad. i owe this person a big thank you..

one day my time will come...

2011-04-28T13:43:00.005+08:00

i cried watching this:

- 26 april 2011, in baltimore.

love the part where jesse kept going "you're just jealous cos we're young and in love" and the crowd went "your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation, you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed, and u're tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over!" EPIC MOMENT.

i think i will fucking bawl my eyes out if i ever see them live. i know every word to every song and every time jesse sings it gives me chills.. they are so perfect. my heart aches to see them. so fucking much. :(

2011-04-28T01:57:00.000+08:00

im gonna stay 18 forever so we can stay like this forever n we'll never miss a party cos we keep them going constantly n we'll never have to listen to anyone abt anything cos it's all been done, its all been said, we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get.... you're just jealous cos we're young and in love x

blue skies

2011-04-27T00:07:00.002+08:00

KBG at night

2011-04-26T23:57:00.001+08:00

2011-04-26T19:09:00.002+08:00

hmm.. interesting read. some parts i gotta agree...

What Distinguishes an Aquarius Female
There are several factors that make an Aquarius female different from other signs of the zodiac. These factors include her:

•Method of dressing
•Unconventional way of looking at the world
•Need for independence
•Ability to listen
•Honest nature

Method of Dressing
Unlike Libra, an Aquarius female will not dress in the latest or hottest fashions. She will not even be aware of the titles of the magazines that give fashion advice. Rather, she will dress in whatever she likes best of all. Sometimes, she will even dress in whatever is available.

Wearing whatever item is closest is not beyond her. Do not expect her to set any trends (although her "bohemian" style may attract its own followers). This is not something that is at all important to her. Comfort is also an important factor in the wardrobe of an Aquarius woman. Much like she will not want to be constrained by a man, she does not want her clothing to feel too tight. You will also never see her wearing heels that are too high or too tight.

Unconventional
An Aquarius female does not in any way conform to society. Often viewed as some by "whimsical", she really just sees the world differently. What some see as an accepted norm, she will question. Aquarians are great self-teachers. She will never want to learn in school the same way that everyone else does. She will do her job well, but not in the expected way.

The Aquarius woman is a go-getter, but sometimes doesn't appear so in the eyes of others. Rather than being bored, she will find some work that needs to be done in order to entertain herself. She will teach herself new traits that have nothing to do with her job title just to keep things interesting. Never expect her to do anything the way everyone else does; instead, expect her to march to her own drum. If everyone else if jumping off of a bridge, expect her to be the first to find a cliff.

Independence
Above all, an Aquarius female requires some level of independence in all aspects of her life. She will never suggest a joint checking account or Christmas card. She requires alone time in every relationship- even marriage.

At no time will this woman feel happy if she feels she is only a part of a "we". She will always need to feel she is important to her partner, but not just because she is with that person. For this reason, these women are fans of traveling, but only on their own terms. When Aquarius becomes a mother, she will work on passing these factors on to her children. She will strive to make sure her children know they are special.

Listener
As a friend or partner, always expect that an Aquarius female that will listen. In fact, she will listen so intently that often empathizes with others. These women can perfectly hear every word that those around them say, and often recall those words in detail.

For this reason, an Aquarian woman is a good friend in hard times and will pride herself as being a shoulder to cry on. As an air sign, Aquarius is centered on communication. While she loves to converse, do not expect her to hog a conversation. She is more interested in balancing both listening and speaking with helping whoever needs her.

Honest
Of all the people in the zodiac, the water-bearer Aquarius is renowned for being honest. Never will she lie for her own benefit or scheme to be deceive someone. She will taking cheating in a relationship as a serious offensive that she will never be able to forgive. When asked her opinion, Aquarius will gladly give it. Sometimes, this honesty may come at a price because it is sometimes difficult for Aquarius to censor herself.

Final Thoughts
Women that fall under the sign of Aquarius are naturally compassionate and unconventional. At the same time, they can be needy, and will deviate from the norm. As with other air signs, the most important part of an Aquarius woman is that she always tries to balance the good with the bad.

- http://horoscopes.lovetoknow.com/Aquarius_Female

2011-04-24T19:56:00.002+08:00

its that time again. it hits me. i am sitting here. just sitting here. for hours. just doing nothing. almost everyday. just thinking how much of a loser i have become. it is a fact. i have no social life at all. i think something is wrong with me.

2011-04-18T22:05:00.002+08:00

my only companion.

i have never felt so alone. sometimes i think i have no friends. social media has a peculiar meaning of the word 'friend'. 667 friends on my facebook friendlist and i still feel lonely. sometimes i really wonder if facebook has no birthday reminders, would you actually remember my birthday? dont get me wrong, i do appreciate the effort of people writing on my wall, but if you're a true friend, do you actually really need reminders? if alot of people on my facebook friendlist actually read this, don't get too affected. i am sure you are guilty of this as well. if you're not, congratulations, i salute you.

i think i do have people whom i can count on. people say i am not making effort in meet ups, yes its true cos i am tired. sometimes i think in the past, i accomodate to them too much. sometimes i wish they would do the same to me now. sometimes i wish they would meet me at the airport after my flight. sometimes i wish they would come over to my place and try my mother's cooking. sometimes i wish i could show them places i have discovered in woodlands. sometimes i wish we could just have a picnic. sometimes i wish for you to really know how i feel.

:(

2011-04-18T19:42:00.004+08:00

some of the photos from my bangkok trip with matt earlier this month.

i love bangkok. there are so much to do and see and everything is so simple and cheap. and the people there are so pleasant, i just love it. everytime, i feel like going back. going krabi in june with matt for 4 days :). i am so excited!! and then probably going back to bangkok or phuket in september with matt and some of the guys. dont i just love thailand. haha.

2011-04-14T01:40:00.003+08:00

i think buying the canon eos digital slr is the best decision i've ever made.

2011-03-25T19:15:00.003+08:00

to my dear Matt

x

2011-03-24T23:41:00.007+08:00

you know there is something wrong when i keep listening to brand new. they will get me through the day to make me live for tomorrow and the day after just so that i live for day to arrive for me to catch them live. if it wasn't for them, i don't know what i would have done if i was feeling this low. could possibly be my lack of sleep, the perpetual dreams every night that made me feel exhausted even after long hours of sleep, my over-worked brain over god knows what, my body, my fears, my dreams, my thoughts..

2011-03-24T00:41:00.001+08:00

You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than that
Think I'd leave you down
When you're down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you're wrong
And if only you could see into me

Ohh, when you're cold
I'll be there
Hold you tight to me
Ohh, when you're alone
I'll be there
By your side, baby..

2011-03-16T01:30:00.002+08:00

i need some new music. i miss the times when i was 17 where i would go to borders to read alternative press and kerrang to look out for some new bands/albums and then go to purevolume and myspace to check them out and then i would dream of going to the warped tour. if only i can still access to my old broken ipod. man, i'm sure there are some really cool music in there. nowadays its just taylor swift on repeat. i love her songs. they usually tell a story. and sometimes i just listen to class 95. usually at home, late at night. slow songs from the 90s in the middle of the night is like a drug. the kind that gets you stoned. i really need some new music.

been wrapped up with work. i think i spend most of my time getting to the airport and painting my nails at home. really sometimes i wonder how the times flies so fast for me that i dont have enough time to watch a movie on my laptop.

like right now its 2.36am. i dont know how the time pass so fast and it took me so long to write this blog entry. most of the time i was just listening to the radio and staring into space and i remembered chevelle. now im watching their music videos on youtube. when was the last time i listened to chevelle?

2011-03-08T23:16:00.002+08:00

i love thailand!

going bangkok with matt in early april. yay!!

beautiful ain't it? will be going krabi with matt in june :)

2011-02-25T00:13:00.002+08:00

i really want to go paris.

2011-02-18T01:56:00.002+08:00

deftones
16 feb 2011
fort canning
singapore

one of the best concerts i've ever attended.

2011-02-16T01:53:00.004+08:00

last month, on my birthday, matt and i went to universal studios. it was really fun. i even bought a birthday dress the day before to wear it on my birthday. i wanna go universal studios again.

on valentine's day, matt and i had two different crab dishes and more other dishes at seafood pradise. crabs is becoming a tradition on valentine's day for us. we did it last year and three years ago. two years ago we tried steamboat. it was fun too, but we didnt have the steamboat thingy anymore. my cousin lent it to me that time. so every year, crabs it is. people kept staring at us cos we were so messy and constantly laughing and we literally had alot on our plate. we ate too much that matt couldn't walk properly and he was swaying hahahaha. by far, the best valentine's ever! :)

sweet memories this year.

i hope everything goes out well for the next couple of months. settling the trip to khao lak (phuket) in early march. and then bangkok in early april. matt and i really love thailand haha. obviously the philippines trip in june is not working out. i was really looking forward to it, going as a big group and particularly, going to manila. what a waste. oh well, now im thinking of going to bali or... i dont know yet. i want to travel to new places as much as i can this year.

with that, i need to get a camera. everyday im surfing the web searching for the perfect camera for me. i might get an entry-level dslr. most likely be getting it before my trip to khao lak.

just now there was a viewing at my house. my parents are selling the house. i cannot wait to move to elias road. my life would be so convenient when i become an east-sider.

its the deftones concert later on. kinda excited for it. hope they play some of my favourite songs.

have not been watching movies or shows lately. i finished watching the whole of season 1 to 5 of dexter. i just want to watch more of dexter. tho i would really love to catch black swan cos i really like requiem for a dream.

thats an update for now. ok goodnight.

2011-02-16T01:43:00.003+08:00

don't wanna take it slow. i wanna take you home. and watch the world explode. from underneath your glow..

2011-02-05T01:48:00.006+08:00

single stamina vs. couples coma. something i picked up from season 2 of how i met your mother:

Singles stay on their feet, while couples, exhausted by leaving the house, are obsessed with finding a place to sit down. Singles do shots while couples drink wine, singles are up and laughing, couples look tired, they're all ways to tell if someone has single stamina or couples coma.

haha. yup, i definitely am in couples coma. sometimes i really wonder how people have alot of energy to keep their mouths and brains running. i start to get lost 5 seconds into a group conversation. in a group hangout, im always hearing and then, i start thinking about something else and people watching.. maybe i have ADD. maybe not.. unless someone starts talking about topics which i like, like vacations. i like talking about those. i dont know, im just lazy and this probable ADD thing is kinda tiring cos im trying hard to concentrate on what someone is saying and trying not to think of the milk in the fridge im gonna drink later when i reach home. thats why im yawning and look generally tired all the time and i dont contribute much cos my head is somewhere else when in a group..

ok i dont have ADD cos it doesn't make sense, im aware of my lack of concentration in a group conversation, but i dont see it as an issue. im fine. ive been working on it and i found out that my concentration is better in 1-on-1 conversation cos the awkward silence will force me to think and say something. so yeah, that solves it all. im more of a 1-on-1 person.

but i do love group hangouts. tho i dont really contribute much, but its fun. i'd like to think that im a great listener. i put alot of effort in listening. :)

this is the first time ever i address a personality flaw about myself. i hope people still like me the same.

ok thats all for now, goodnight.

2011-02-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

I gave you all the love I've got I gave you more than I could give
Gave you love
I gave you all that I had inside and you took my love
You took my love

Didn't I tell you?
What I believe
Did somebody say that?
A love like ours will last
Didn't I give you all that I got to
Give, Babe

I give you all the love I got I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I give you all that I had inside and you took my love
You took my love

I keep trying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like
You and I
Baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
(Ordinary)
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
(Ordinary love)

When you came my way
You brightened every day
With your sweet smile
Ahh

Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
Love like ours wont' last
Didn't I give you all that I got to
Give, baby

This is no ordinary love
Ordinary love
(Ordinary)
This is no ordinary love
Ordinary love
(Ordinary love)

I keep trying

I keep trying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like
You and I
Baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
Ordinary love

Keep crying for you
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you

2011-01-28T01:12:00.002+08:00

feeling very emo. so then i think about why i'm so emo right now.. its because mostly, its no longer my birthday, i have to wait another year. i wish everyday is my birthday.. and the other reasons are basically cos i have nothing to look forward to, i suddenly hate my hair and body and im still stressing over my camera.

i need a fucking holiday. its like im about to explode if march doesn't come soon. and then bangkok in april. ohmygod please come soon!!! and possible philippines trip in june which im really looking forward to with the gang. i can see us having the time of our lives in manila. oh please make it happen!

i wish i have bigger boobs. im not happy with a B. and i wish i can dye my hair light brown and have blonde highlights. im so disgusted with myself right now. and i wish i have a slightly bigger ass and i wish im slightly shorter so i can wear high heels from aldo and i wish i dont have a tummy!!.... wah depressed :(

the other time i spend hours researching on the camera im about to get. thinking of the sony nex, panasonic lumix fz, gf, lx... think i might have settled on one but now not too sure anymore because im so god damn fearful.

sux.

2011-01-21T14:13:00.001+08:00

thats how i know i want to marry you because something as simple as a pizza night is the highlight of my week...

2011-01-21T01:30:00.002+08:00

i am typing this from my new HP Envy Beats audio edition laptop. its the laptop of my dreams. its the most gorgeous laptop i've ever seen in my entire life! i cannot wait to play wow on this beauty.. BEST. GIFT. EVER!!! many thanks and i love yous to my boyfriend. yes, this was my christmas gift from him. thank you so much matthew lim! i love you baby :)

2011-01-19T22:02:00.001+08:00

three and a half years today. :)

2011-01-18T01:48:00.002+08:00

so anyway, i feel sad and confused because i've been pushing the days to get my camera because i have fear of it not being useful in my life. dont even know whether its worth it to spend almost a thousand dollars on a camera. i do have the interest in photography and i want to be good at it, but i'm afraid i do not make the time to do it and what if i get bored of the things i capture? i'm so confused. i want it, but i'm afraid..

im turning 22 next week. twenty-two and i feel nothing about it. my mom told me i shouldn't be playing world of warcraft anymore. i think that's bullshit. my mom can be so rude and controlling and i cannot do anything about it, but to just live with it. i made alot of improvements in my life since the last couple of years and yet she is still not happy. almost 4 years ago, i hardly come home every weekend and stayed out til the morning, but i don't do that anymore and i come home every night, and yet she does not like it. when i fulfilled her requirements, she will set another ridiculous one and another and another and another.. she does not compromise. very demanding, very controlling. i haven't been smoking and drinking for so long now and yet she failed to take that into consideration. i can't mould into something you want instantly and i am what i chose to be and i have a conscience, please be fucking grateful for that. whatever you want, i give you, but please don't go too far because that is as much i can take. just trust me and accept me for who i am. that is all i ask of you for my 22nd birthday.

2011-01-15T01:30:00.002+08:00

i wish i can fuck you right now... - one of my favourite scenes from dexter.

2011-01-04T01:24:00.003+08:00

happy new year! its 2011.

i'm back in World of Warcraft! Yeah thats about all.

2010-12-27T01:20:00.002+08:00

ho ho what a weekend! christmas weekend was spent in matt's room, sleeping and watching tv. matt was sick friday night so i prescribed him a flu med which totally knocked him out when he took it after dinner. so while almost everybody was in town spraying that pseudo snow stuff at other people and sipping wines, wearing the cute little santa clause hat which they bought at watsons and raising their glasses in a bar/club and wishing everybody a merry christmas, i was watching my boyfriend sleep and half-watching spiderman 2 on cable. totally not what i had in mind, but i know that there was where i wanted to be. no crowd, no talking to people.. just lying down, comfortable clothes, hugs, water, matt lying next to me.. it was perfect. :)

they were showing men in black after spiderman 2, i watched a little and left soon after. didnt want to trouble matt to send me down cos he was sleeping like a baby and i just couldn't. he looked so awww.. heh. went down to get a cab but couldnt find one so i walked to the train station taxi stand when i realised that train service was extended and there was still train. oh well, took a train then. got home and slept.

just now was boxing day. spent today with matt in bed sleeping and they showed spiderman 3 on cable! :D great day.. and then had a huge dinner with the family, my treat. chilli crabs!! it temporarily damaged my bank account. sad, oh well.. least i could do for my parents cos they just had their birthdays.

bought fruit ninja game on my iphone. i like to slice fruit, ninja style. totally addictive.

not as happening as other people christmas weekend, but nevertheless i think mine was fantastic :)

anyway, 2010 going to end. so... plans for new years eve? haha.

2010-12-21T02:07:00.004+08:00

this year, i have smoked lesser than i have ever did in the last couple of years. i have go on without a fag for more than 3 months. i haven't been smoking lately, just the rare occasion where people offer me. probably happens like once a month or two. wow, i am on the road to putting an end to it. quit for life, perhaps? i haven't been drinking alot as well. the last time i got high, kinda sorta drunk was on new years 2010. nowadays i don't see the point in drinking if you're not planning on getting high. so yeah, i guess that explains. i have made improvements in my life to be sober and healthy. part 1 of 2010 that is good. more parts to come...

2010-12-09T23:24:00.003+08:00

i cry easily when i'm exhausted from work and when i'm lacking sleep. i cry when i, alone, have to face bad, unexplainable things. there are alot of things i cry about...

i would like to blog about how my day today received a 5-star FML rating, but it will not sound really polite when i start ranting so, i shall not say it here. maybe one day if we have a FML discussion, i will share.

anyway, a couple of weeks ago, i had the biggest dilemma about buying a prada bag. i ALMOST bought it. i was only left with keying in my credit card number to check out the item when my boyfriend saved me. it is so gorgeous, i still think about it sometimes. i recently bought a kate spade and then i wanted to buy the prada but that would make ALOT of people unhappy with how i handle my money. bags after bags is unhealthy. so i shall not look at bags anymore. i have a new focus. i'm buying a camera. a dSLR or a compact SLR. i wanna take up photography. heh!

i need a break. i wanna escape somewhere RIGHT NOW.

i feel that this post is so retarded cos its no longer interesting and i am tired of thinking and typing already. ok bye.

2010-11-26T01:58:00.002+08:00

we always have 1 million work stories to tell each other. :)

2010-11-25T16:17:00.003+08:00

"From the very beginning, I was telepathically telling him to marry me. From our first dinner date, I just knew he was someone who was going to be doing great things, and I wanted to stand by his side while it happened." - Katy Perry (Cosmopolitan, November 2010)

2010-11-17T01:37:00.003+08:00

i realised after i turned 18, i lost track of what is cool, what is everybody listening to, what is everyone wearing... i feel old. old like i love listening to class95 and i look forward to 80s and 90s weekend and sometimes y2k weekends.. i never get sick of listening to the mars volta, nirvana etc.. i still think a black tank top and tight jeans are the hottest outfit. i don't even understand what is happening now. i don't know who is temper trap (their name reminds me of this band called Trapt) and who is vampire weekend.. ??? seriously i don't know. i see and hear alot of people talkin and i don't know what they're talking about and i feel very very very embarrassed of myself. i find the clothes in trend very queer. i dont find it sexy when girls tie their hair in that messy high bun. i think sexy is when they let their hair down. i'm old-fashioned. i'm no longer cool.

2010-11-01T12:46:00.002+08:00

most of the time i have nothing to say here. right now, im like thinking of something funny or adventurous, but nothing.. hmm.. im thinking cos i'm very bored right now.

ok, i didnt go out on halloween this year, but i dont mind. hell i dont even go out to parties or something of that kind.. i've gotten uninterested, tired and lazy.. lame, indeed. oh well i like dinners and ice-cream tho, dont you? :)

my family and i moving to elias road (pasir ris) in december. finally, i am an east-sider :)

going to bangkok with matt again next year :)

im saving up for the sony nx-3 camera. ideally, i will get it at the end of this year along with my iphone. oh finally! iphone!! 2 more months.

ok getting mundane now.. goodbye! hey, its november already!

2010-10-24T15:28:00.001+08:00

2010-09-30T01:53:00.001+08:00

i want to make this happen :)
just you and me, baby

xoxo

2010-09-30T00:31:00.002+08:00

fuck it, buy fendi wallet tomorrow. stop getting in my head!!! *SCREAM*

2010-09-23T20:02:00.005+08:00

i just woke up a few minutes ago and i better blog about this while its still fresh in my mind before i forget all about it...

i dreamt that i met jesse lacey from brand new!!! omg! it was the most fantastic dream
ever! it goes like this...

i was at this place with some familiar faces and some strangers. it was something like timbre without the bar and it was raining. i had to submit ac essay and i had handwritten it all. i wrote a few pages long essay on how the family environment children live in affects how it influences them in the future. I guess I wasn't the only one submitting the essay. It was probably like an essay competition event. There were judges and kids from the orphanage. and Brand New was guest playing for it.

after i submitted my essay, i watched a fashion show. i dont know why suddenly there was a fashion show, but yeah it was probably part of the programme. i didnt see Brand New around so, probably they were just hanging out somewhere else. then i realised that everyone had gotten back their essays so, i was asking around where can i get mine back. i went inside the judging room and there was a lady and a small boy. they were reading my essay and the small boy was writing something on it. i was the only one who have not collected back my essay. the small boy gave me back my essay and he smiled at me. then i looked through my essay.. he loved my essay. he wrote nice things on it like he loved what i said and he wished for things i said to come true. whatever it was, i was so touched, i cried. i barged out of the judging room with tears in my eyes and thats when i saw jesse and his friend just sitting down and talking. i dont know what gotten into me, but i handed him my essay and then i sat somewhere else where i could still see him. he reads through my essay. and then suddenly he came over to me and handed it back and he gave me a couple of taps on the shoulder. he said good job AND THEN HE HELD MY CHEEK AND SMILED AT ME!!!! (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) omg. then he told me he had to go and said take care.

i wish he hadnt went, but i cant like beg him not too. it wouldn't be cool infront of alot of people. I felt really happy after that. jesse was really impressed by me and i soooo damn wished we had talk more. then i continued sitting there and watch more fashion shows.......

then i woke up. the most fantastic dream i've had lately.

2010-09-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder do you still read this space?

2010-09-11T01:32:00.002+08:00

i wish for some excitement in my life. i hate my life. i feel its stupid. i have a stupid life.

2010-09-08T18:17:00.000+08:00

2010-09-08T17:53:00.001+08:00

brand new, you have no idea how bad i want to see you. xx

2010-09-07T22:37:00.003+08:00

random webcam photos..

2010-09-05T01:30:00.001+08:00

Matt lost his Tumi wallet :(

2010-08-31T01:49:00.004+08:00

august 31st, 2010.

hokay its been awhile. so many things have been going on. actually, no.. i've been busy and tired with work and always thinking of trying to maintain relationships with everyone on my precious off days which i think is not working out very well. i haven't been in contact with many many people and i'm sorry for that.

so here is what has been going on...

bedbugs attacked me and my sister for weeks and we just recently found out about it. motherfucking bedbugs. had to throw our beds away so, we have no bed now. currently sleeping in the living room with our mom. and it seems like some of the bedbugs have moved and are residing in our bags and wardrobe. those son of a bitches. me, my sister and my mom are cleaning up EVERYTHING and spraying the whole room with insecticide. our room is practically empty now. just laptops and table and chair. and our room reeks of insect repellent. yeap, life sucks at the moment. i wish i could just check in to a hotel with a nice bed and hot shower... my house has no hot shower for months already. have i mentioned that before? so yeah.

fun fact: throughout this whole fasting month i only managed to break fast with my family ONCE. its really upsetting. i feel like a fucked up child.

anyway, i'm starting to love my job. sure my job sucks in so many areas but hey whatever, im getting used to it and i think its not that bad. actually, i think my job is pretty cool. i can actually think of buying that burberry bag and that sony nx-3 camera. always look forward of what to spend every month. :)

here are some photos of matt and i taken by tim at the botanic gardens last month. it was a third year anniversary thing we decided to do. its really sweet. :)

i am so sleepy right now. i'll write again here soon. xx

2010-08-12T01:48:00.001+08:00

there is no need to be emo when i have you around :)

2010-08-10T18:55:00.001+08:00

justin bartha, you are so hot.

2010-08-03T02:07:00.003+08:00

watch this

no one's gonna love you more than i do

2010-07-27T00:58:00.001+08:00

Don't let them have their way
Don't let them have their way
You're beautiful and so blasé
So please don't let them have their way
Don't fall back into the decay
There is no law we must obey
So please don't let them have their way
And don't give in to yesterday

We can build a new tomorrow, today.

- "Speak In Tongues" Placebo

2010-07-19T01:00:00.004+08:00

Happy 3rd year anniversary to us :) i love you always.

2010-07-12T17:23:00.004+08:00

and so i have officially started flying. yesterday i flew to kathmandu at 9 in the morning and came back at 8pm. then i went to matt's house to shower and rested for a bit before the world cup final match at 2.30am. god, it felt like death to wake up, i was so exhausted. stayed up for first half, was half asleep for second half, lost my nerve for extra-time onwards til i got home. i slept at 6am and woke up at 4pm today. man, i was dead beat.

i'm in the process of trying-to-survive-my-first-month-of-work like getting used to the irregular work hours, trying hard to fit in, conform, finding pals etc. i would like to apologize to anyone who thinks i'm different now. god forbid, i will never change myself or act differently towards my loved ones for a job. i'm sorry i haven't been very receptive and i'm always so tired, i'm still trying to adapt my mind and my body and i keep telling myself that there are some days i will not get my usual eight hours of sleep so, don't be a big baby and pull yourself together. i am okay! and i will be okay tomorrow and everyday.

i miss my friends. i know jasmine is back for holidays because i see her uploading photos of her in singapore on facebook. izyan is enjoying the world cup, i can tell by her facebook status updates. i am still trying to find a perfect day to surprise visit jia at clarke quay. one night you will see me, i promise you. rachel, i miss you too! i should plan a dinner with you. and nik, i think you're the only one i talked to this month.. regarding jump-starting a car :P i miss you all!

and i miss my batch girls too. i hope they're all alright and surviving :)

late last month and this month has been with great company and lack of sleep. watched late night world cup matches at rudi's house with my boyfriend, mariam, shen, tim etc. aikland's birthday at pizza hut, the new *scape, joshua's farewell gathering, music video shoot at republic polytechnic. :) i think of all the world cup matches i watched i only managed to stay up for argentina vs. germany. the rest i fell asleep during second half.. haha. Thank you for the great company. :)

its 7 more days to my 3rd year anniversary!!!!!!!!!!! and i am sooo much in love with matt. he has been beside me every time and even much more when i started flying and i love him so much for that. my pillar of strength, a shoulder to cry on and sleep on, the love of my life and my everything. i love you soooo much baby. i can't wait for the 19th!

7 more days :)

2010-07-06T10:37:00.002+08:00

i dont like girls who talk with a fake accent.

2010-06-26T19:28:00.004+08:00

i'm thinking of.....

KRABI!!!!!!!

2010-06-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

wow.

2010-06-18T01:21:00.002+08:00

im blogging this from my phone cos i just had a sudden random thought. Sonnet could totally go on the grey's anatomy OST.. im just saying.

2010-06-16T20:36:00.002+08:00

and i came to my senses
what a fool i could be
of a heart that grows colder
from the air that i breathe
to look at my face
oh so pleasantly calm
yet my heart beholds a weakness
could you just see through me
have i lost my faith
for a beautiful world
in a quiet degradation
of passion and purpose
here i stand at the edge
of the future & now
from the depths of my lungs
oh could you just sing to me

into the fire
into your grace
into your love
you know i'm here
to love you.

- "Sonnet" by The Fire Fight